This piece originally appeared in Annals of Gay Sexuality, co-written with Marcus Greatheart and Pan.” See sidebar for titles of posts.
Sex generates many biological and social benefits, stress reduction not the least of these. Sex gets us out of our heads, into our bodies and helps us live for and in the moment. Sex can be a spiritual high. Peak sexual experiences help us temporarily transcend a world bent on (our) self-destruction. Sex helps sweat out the chronic state of homo-hate many of us experience. On a good night, the sliding on and into each other’s bodies can be tremendously affirming, validating in many kinky ways. We can appreciate many of the ‘self-destructive tendencies’ that cannot be captured in the ‘stages of change’ and which no public health messaging is going to deter. We need sex- and substance-positive community health models ready to catch and/or cheer us on as we stretch beyond our hard comforts. We know isolation is the killer. Those of us who benefit from the resources of the industrialized world—as consumers of pharmaceutical and users of technological privilege—have a responsibility to be of service to those who have yet to make it out of our well-lubricated black holes.8 Much more needs to be shared about the healing benefits of sharing our stories. The contributors in this journal graciously dish out their own rough-and-tumble-out-of-bed episodes, revealing more of what is happening in these liminal erotic spaces.